One statement of advice that is often given, especially in the aftermath of some tragedy or relationship problem, is that you just need to “Move On.” I completely disagree, though there is an element of truth in this statement. Many leaders and even some family members told me to just “Move On” after the tragic separation of my family, which continues to the writing of this, my latest blog. Is that solid advice? Is this good counsel? What does it even mean to “Move On”? Does “Moving On” actually help you? Does this counsel really help the VT community and family members that were impacted by that horrific tragedy 40 months ago today? Please think with me here! If you get this truth correct in your thinking, you will be able to truly prevail through any difficulty; you will become an overcomer!
I submit that “moving on” is often the worst counsel possible. It is the reason why there are so many dysfunctional families today. It is why so many relationships are so out of order. It is why some continue to struggle after tragedy hits close to home. More often than not, “moving on,” especially with improperly resolved conflict, leads to even greater tragedy! I have addressed this subject in many of my blog articles. Problems are not solved by trying to simply sweep them away or “under the rug” as it were and then “Move On” to other things. You cannot heal from a tragedy by simply replacing the pain, nor can you by ignoring or even denying your emotions. All things must be brought into the proper order and resolved in a way that will bring true healing and help prevent further tragedy.
This New River Valley area of Virginia has done a lot to recover from all of the tragedy over the past few years, yet many are still missing true healing. It is because of this “Move On” philosophy. If the truth of what happened 40 months ago is not faced head on (pun intended), seeing it for what it truly was and learning from all of what made it possible, it will eventually come to be repeated. If our Nation does not learn from what has led to so many of these school shootings and other man-caused tragedies, they will only continue to regularly occur. GOD most often operates according to His law of sowing and reaping and He has a way of letting things be repeated for us individually and even collectively until the lessons are properly learned. You cannot simply “Move On”!
For Virginia Tech and this greater community, the man who was the shooter must be acknowledged. He must not be idolized or glorified, but he must be acknowledged and we must learn from what led him to do what he did. The continual referring to only “32 students and faculty” tragically dying is a glaring reminder of how people have wrongly tried to heal. Please re-read my “Learn to Prevail—32 to 33” poem that I wrote on the one year anniversary of the 04-16-07 VT Tragedy. “Moving On” is never really possible until the truth is fully acknowledged and properly dealt with.
Scripture reminds us of the need to not “lose heart” or lose faith in GOD to work all together for good for those who love Him (See 2 Corinthians 4:1,16 with Romans 8:28). We must “trust GOD and His Word, no matter what” as I discuss in my book and we must do all we can to learn from what GOD allows. We must seek to keep all of our relationships in order and properly resolve any conflicts. Rather than simply “moving on” to the next thing, we must be certain we have learned from the past. We must confess what is true and seek to admit any responsibility or way we could be at fault. We must continue on, not by merely “Moving On,” but by “Moving Up” to GOD’s perspective and resolving problems and conflicts His way.